


Open Wide

by makuroshi



Series: Eruri 100 Themes [7]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Baker! Levi, Dentist! Erwin, Eruri 100 themes, Falling In Love, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Snarky Levi, Sweet-toothed Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 15:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1862517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makuroshi/pseuds/makuroshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To Levi, all dentists are sadistic bastards out to get fresh blood and inflict pain on others for their own entertainment. He's been putting off his dental checkup, until one day the pain becomes unbearable and he meets Dr. Erwin Smith, who is everything his imagination is not.</p><p>Well, at least he's right about the eyebrows. They're <em>monstrous</em>.</p><p>(in which Levi is a sweet-toothed baker and Erwin is a dorky dentist who fails at being smooth) #16 - Excuses</p>
            </blockquote>





	Open Wide

**Author's Note:**

> One day I thought of a Dentist!AU Eruri and because I don't know if there's any out there, I decided to write one.

A lot of things come by with growing up. When you’re an adult, people foster greater expectations for you, see you in a brighter light, and place you on a higher pedestal. In most cases, with adulthood comes maturity -fears gradually fade, personality develops and evolves. Occasionally, you’re stuck with your bad habits, but all in all, you shed skin and leave your childhood behind.

 

Of course, this is in _most_ cases _._ More often than not, there are exceptions.

 

Despite being a grown-ass man with a stable job and 30-something years of living, there are some things Levi doesn’t overcome; secrets he keeps, fears that stay no matter how hard he tries to outgrow them. It’s not like he _wants_ to keep them with him -god knows what he’s willing to sacrifice to get rid of these embarrassing remnants of his past- but regrettably, the fears never cease. So when forced to confront these dark, undisclosed nightmares of his life, he deals with them the way any adult would do best:

 

_Make excuses._

\----------

Levi is already halfway through his third lollipop when he feels the sharp prick jabbing at his back tooth, right at the end of his left jaw.

 

The pain starts small and barely noticeable, just dull throbbing at the base of his gum which lasts for a few seconds before completely going away. Unnerved, Levi simply brushes it off as insignificant and continues sucking on the confection, keeping his eyes on the road. _It’s nothing,_ he tells himself as he turns the corner to the bakery store. Okay, so _maybe_ his last dental appointment was approximately two or three years ago -or four, Levi doesn’t actually keep track anymore- but his teeth have been in excellent condition since forever. He brushes daily without fail, flosses after most of the meals, uses antibacterial mouthwash on a regular basis, and heck, he’d rather not boast but he’s convinced that he can even be a toothpaste model if the opportunity ever surfaces. Surely a mere lollipop or two can’t be the downfall of his perfect records now, can it?

 

Except that it’s not just  _a lollipop or two_ , but more like half a dozen of snow-top doughnuts, a few egg tarts and no less than three slices of moist chocolate cake per day. Then again, he can’t exactly say no to these sugar-saturated goodies, for these sweeties are his oxygen, his _drugs_ , an obsession that tags along from the past when he eats them for comfort and temporal happiness. Blessed with high metabolism rate and working in a famous bakery certainly help as well; there’s never a shortage of patisserie for him to choose from. Levi needs his daily fix to function properly else he’ll be grumpy and almost perpetually irritated. Well, not like he isn’t already.

 

_It only hurts a bit, so why bother going?_

 

Little does he know that an excuse usually breeds another.

\------------

The next time the pain bears its ugly head, Levi is rolling dough for the special-of-the-day butter croissants in the bakery’s kitchen. The wooden pint stills in his hands when he feels it, the spiky sensation that stings his gum, its throbbing somewhat more intense and now worse than before. It radiates, spreading out to adjacent teeth to move further along the row before disappearing once again, lasting a few seconds longer than the first attack. Levi furrows his brows, gritting the other side of his teeth and gripping tightly onto the pint’s handle to keep the pain inside. It fucking hurts, there’s no denying it now, but he can -he _must-_ manage this much. _I’m thirty two, for god’s sake._

 

“Sir, are you okay?”

 

Levi turns to see Petra by his side, frowning slightly in concern while holding a tray of fresh strawberry Swiss rolls presumably to be put out for display. Observant and perceptive as always, that Petra. Levi thought that he has hidden his pain quite well behind his thick layers of indifference, but one way or another, some people are just too sharp for their own good.

 

“Just some minor toothache,” Levi hears himself blurt out before he can stop. _Great_ , _now someone knows_. “But otherwise, I’m fine.”

 

Thankfully, Petra doesn’t seem to think that Levi has lost his credibility and pride as a man for admitting that he’s in pain. She sighs in relief knowing that it’s nothing too serious, and suggests a trip to the dentist. Naturally, when the _d-word_ is mentioned, Levi reacts accordingly.

“I have no time. Tons of recipes to create, cakes to bake.”

 

It’s a pathetic excuse because the bakery closes at five-thirty and he’s off on Saturdays, and that leaves ample time for a quick appointment with any of the numerous dental clinics available in the province, but excuses work like magic. And if it’s not urgent, you delay it. Simple logic.

 

Petra still wears obvious concern on her face, clearly not too satisfied with Levi’s excuse. Levi quickly dismisses her and off she reluctantly goes, not without sparing another glance at him. Levi assures himself that it won’t be too serious a problem when he finally gets around to visiting the dentist for the long overdue checkup. Cavities take a long time to manifest anyway, so there’s still a chance that he’ll recover before then, _if_ he reduces his sugar intake just a little--

 

Fully aware he’s falling further down the slippery slope of excuses, Levi tells himself another one, this time accompanied with a half-hearted promise. _Next week. I’ll go next week._

He doesn’t.

\----------

“Your left cheek looks swollen, Levi,” is the first thing Hange says when she walks in the following week for the daily quality control. Levi casts an annoyed side glance at her and turns back to concentrate on sprinkling granulated sugar on the doughnuts, unfazed and not in the mood to talk. Waking up on the wrong side of the bed has just taken a whole new meaning, because he literally did just that this morning, and the effects are disastrous. To his horror, Levi opened his eyes to realize that he’s been sleeping on his left side throughout the whole night, effectively pressing _onto_ his hurting gums and _boy, did it hurt._ Long gone are the painless, ticklish and playful jabs the wicked tooth has been giving him for the past two weeks; now everything hurts like a bitch, full-blown stinging and intense pulsing that never stops, and when _Levi_ -the rumoured notorious and invincible thug-turned-civillian _Levi-_ says it hurts, then it damn well does.

                                             

Despite the death glare she’s receiving, Hange inches closer to him to inspect the damage done. Levi resembles a blown up puffer fish more than anything, and she has to hide her face in her hand to conceal the escaping giggles. After regaining composure, she pats Levi on the shoulder and puts on her serious expression, even though deep inside the bizarre image of a bloated-faced Levi still haunts her mind.

 

“I think you should go get that checked,” Hange says. Levi breezily walks past her to take another tray.

 

“Ih nohing, hon wohi.”

 

Hange’s eyes widen in surprise upon hearing Levi’s garbled reply. She has heard from Petra that Levi’s been having some dental problems, but if it renders the usually talkative Levi incapable of speech, clearly, things are more severe than she has originally thought.

 

“Levi, you need help. You can’t even talk.”

 

“Laher.”

 

“No. I don’t want you spitting out blood all over my pastries. I’ll take over, just go.”

 

Levi pauses halfway in his back and forth pace between the oven in the corner and the long table to give Hange a fixed stare.  She really doesn’t know the meaning of giving up. “I hook hainkillers,” he retorts, trying to find a way out of this. The truth is, over-the-counter painkillers worked wonders at first, but he’s been taking an extra each day to get the same effect, and now Levi thinks even _morphine_ doses can’t provide the slightest bit of comfort.

 

“Levi, I’m serious. I heard toothache can cause heart attack and a series of other complications,” Hange says, shaking her head in disapproval. She rummages through her bag and takes out a name card, shoving it forcefully into Levi’s sugar-covered hand. “Here, take this.” Levi gapes at her dumbfoundedly, clueless as to what Hange is telling him to do, but when he takes a good look at the card, he scowls menacingly, almost crumpling it on the spot.

 

“He’s a friend of mine. I assure you he’ll be gentle, that is, if you don’t get on his bad side.”

 

As if on cue, just when Levi opens his mouth to churn out more incomprehensible comebacks, another jolt of pain shoots through his system, paralyzing him momentarily. Hange sees his face contort in pain and hurriedly pushes him through the door, shooing him away like some kind of stray dog. Levi knows he’s getting the short stick in this one. Sorely defeated, he leaves on the quest to seek treatment, but not before muttering complaints under his breath.

 

“Tch! Hamn hitty four hais…”

 

“Hey, I heard you!”

\-----------

There are no less than four Smith Dental Clinics in the area, and Levi is going crazy from searching for that single one Hange claims to be _the best in town_. To be honest, he doesn’t see the need for so many dental clinics in the first place, and of the same name to boot. Although Smith is a too common surname, it’s borderline ridiculous just how many Smiths end up working as a dentist, and even more absurd are the long winded roads in the vicinity that seem to send him going in a frustrating roundabout. Finally, after twenty minutes of agonizing search, Levi sees it, the little clinic in the far end of the row of townhouses that he’s dead sure he has passed by at least twice.

 

Guess the pain is starting to meddle with his eyesight too.

 

Lookwise, there’s nothing particularly special or outstanding about the dental clinic other than the name on the clear door depicting the dentist in charge (Dr. Erwin Smith, same as written on the namecard) and the huge-ass poster of a brightly grinning tooth cartoon holding up a blue toothbrush with a small speech bubble that says ‘Welcome!’ next to its head. The damn thing is hilarious and not the least bit welcoming. Levi would have laughed cynically if not for the throbbing swell on his cheek; it’s starting to subside after all that long journey, but still enough to make him clench his knuckles. He steps in but doesn’t budge from the front door, staring at the displayed cartoon and lost in his musings. If a tooth has a mouth, surely it has teeth too, right? And if the teeth inside the tooth’s mouth have their own mouths and teeth, then how many thousand teeth will that make…

 

“Excuse me, sir. How may I help you?”

 

Levi’s inner debate is cut short by a rather warm voice calling out to him. It turns out to be the receptionist, a young boy in mid-teens whose height Levi thinks is far above the allowed limit for his age and volumes of sweat dripping profusely down the sides of his head in the way that makes Levi cringe in disgust. Judging from the chilly air that hits his skin, the air-conditioning is perfectly functional, so why’s this brat sweating so much?

 

“Are you here for an appointment?” The boy asks again, nervously fidgeting and smiling at Levi from behind the counter. Levi walks over casually, halting in front of the counter and instantly starts plotting all the ways to kill this kid without getting caught because shit, he has to _freaking crane his head_ a good few degrees to even take a glimpse at the boy’s face.

 

But that can wait. He’ll be the one dying if this toothache isn’t taken care of now.

 

“Is Dr. Erwin Smith in?” Levi asks, thankful that he’s recovered some of his speech abilities. The boy, _Bertholdt_ as his nametag displays (How the heck do you even pronounce that, Levi wonders), nods and reaches out for a pen.

 

“Yes, his lunch break isn’t until 1 o’clock,” Bertholdt answers. “May I know your name, sir?”

 

“Levi.”

 

“Just Levi?”

 

Levi wants to give his signature what-the-fuck-do-you-want scowl, but he notices Bertholdt’s wet, shaking hands holding the pen in a trembling grip, sees the messy scrawls on the card, and decides that the poor kid is intimated enough as is.

 

“Just Levi,” he says, taking out his identification card and placing it on the counter. Bertholdt takes it –sweaty, germ-infested hands and all- and starts typing something on the computer, probably opening a new patient record. After more fumbling and anxious grins, he hands the ID card back to Levi together with an appointment slip, which Levi is tempted to wipe with his handkerchief right then because _god damn it_ this boy is like a flowing tap! _So much for the best clinic in town, Hange._

 

“I’ve checked the system and it seems that Dr. Erwin is free for the next hour, since the supposed patient cancelled his appointment unexpectedly,” Bertholdt explains. So the few people in the waiting area are probably just lounging around. Levi sighs, relieved that he doesn’t have to wait any longer. “I’ll take you there,” Bertholdt steps around the counter, and now that they’re standing side by side, Levi sees the way he’s bending a little to talk to Levi. It’s insulting and irritating as heck.

 

Levi follows him into the room, and the first thing he sees is the chair. Oh, not just any chair, but _the_ dreadful chair, _the_ one that triggers so many unpleasant memories in his mind with all those shiny metal equipment laid neatly at the side that Levi’s convinced has murdered at least a few people and is going after him next. A bad experience with a rather unfriendly dentist in the past brings some sort of a negative classically conditioned response for Levi whenever he sees or hear anything related to it. But he has to face it now; it’s between dying by the hands of an evil scheming dentist and dying by the excruciating pain. Either way, he’s dead meat.

 

The dentist has his back towards them, only when Bertholdt announces their presence does he turn around and reveals his face. Or whatever that’s left of his face, considering that it’s obscured by the mask he’s wearing. To Levi, all dentists are sadistic bastards out to get fresh blood and inflict pain on others for their own entertainment. _All of them_ , this one’s not excluded, even if he’s Hange’s friend. So far, Dr. Erwin fits Levi’s imagery of a dentist: socially isolated, wears pristine white coat, has a big stature and broad shoulders with strong arms perfect for snapping patients’ necks in half after he’s done with them, and a perpetual evil grin behind the mask (or so he expects Dr. Erwin’s expression to be). All that’s left to confirm the malice and insidious nature of this dentist is his eyes, the windows to his soul.

 

Dr. Erwin walks over to Bertholdt and Levi, nodding to acknowledge them both and offering a handshake. Reluctantly, Levi returns the gesture, and when he looks up to properly _see_ the dentist’s eyes, he expects to see evil sharp ones topped with bushy angled eyebrows and heavy bags indicating sleepless nights of torturing patients. He wasn’t expecting to see a pair of gentle sky blue eyes giving such a warm gaze, so clear and honest and kind; essentially everything his imagination is not. Okay, at least he’s right about the eyebrows. They’re _monstrous_.

 

“Have a seat,” Dr. Erwin offers, which pretty much translates to “sit and prepare to have your mouth cut open” in Levi’s fear-stricken mind. But he does as told, trying to appear comfortable on the chair while examining the surrounding to spot the possible escape routes. A window, and a door. Maybe he can use that vase to hit the bastard’s head while he’s at it.

 

“Good morning! I’m Dr. Erwin Smith. What can I do for you today?”

 

Right away, Bertholdt bows and excuses himself out of the room, leaving Levi alone with the epitome of his nightmares. Things are getting fishy, and the stress is making the pain worse.

 

 “Dr. Erwin,” Levi begins, but the dentist stops him before he can continue.

 

“Please, just Erwin will do.”

 

Levi wants to question the ethical and professional aspects of referring to a qualified dentist so casually, putting aside the fact that it’s only their first time meeting. But he’s too much in pain to give a shit about whatever quirks Dr. Erwin has, so Levi lets it pass.

 

“Erwin,” Levi says, clearing his throat. “I’ve been having these painful jabs in my left row of teeth, and it hurts so fucking bad I couldn’t even talk this morning. Fix it.”

 

Erwin nods and looms over Levi, a dental mirror in hand. Levi’s heart beat instantly increases tenfold, and he’s panicking behind the calm exterior. _Oh god I’m so scared why is he so close what will he do will it hurt--_

 

“Say aaaaa…”

 

Despite the childish instruction, Levi obeys, squeezing his eyes shut. To his surprise, when Erwin starts probing around in his mouth, it doesn’t hurt. Well, that wasn’t so bad…

 

He forgets that the worst has yet to come.

 

“So, Levi,” Dr. Erwin begins, skillful hands still maneuvering the handheld mirror and dental probe in Levi’s mouth to gauge the extent of the damage. By the looks of his knitted eyebrows and focused eyes, it can’t be too good. “Care to tell me why you’ve putting this off until it gets this bad?”

 

_Shit, he’s asking about it. Shitshitshit—_

“No time,” Levi simply answers. At the same time, Erwin removes the device and fiddles around with his gloved fingers, brushing against the painful place that has Levi yelping most ungracefully. In that small timeframe, Levi’s silver eyes widen in horror, but he quickly reverts to faked calmness, unaware that his legs have been tapping in anxiety and fear since the consultation began. Dr. Erwin lets out chuckle, deep and reverberating like he knows something Levi doesn’t.

 

“You have odontophobia,” Erwin says, retracting his fingers in favour of reaching for another device from the wide array of his manslaughter equipment on the dental engine. Levi stares blankly.

 

“Layman’s term?”

 

“Fear of dentists.”

 

That’s it. For so long, Levi’s been keeping the secret, and all of a sudden, this weird dentist with strangely appealing eyes has come and blown his cover in a matter of seconds. Levi’s confusion turns to anger, feeling the urge to retort and defend his pride.

 

 _“Hell_ no _.”_

 

“Then how will you explain _this_?” Dr. Erwin holds up a drill like it’s a freaking gun and switches it on, sending vibrations whirling in the room. As soon as he hears it, Levi jumps like his skin is threatening to fall out, and when he realizes that Erwin’s only teasing him, he spits a violent “Fuck you.”

 

“Not quite the thing to say to the person who’s authorized to operate a drilling machine.” Even with the mask on, Levi can _see_ the triumphant smirk the bastard is wearing, and now he’s having second thoughts about this whole ‘dying by the hands of a dentist’ choice he has made.

 

“God, just get it over with already.”

 

“There’s a gaping hole in your third lower left molar tooth, cavities, as we call it. It can still be sealed, but you have to take extra care in chewing food. Is that okay with you?”

 

“Can it stop the pain?” Levi asks. Erwin gives a curt nod. “Then okay.”

\----------

“Hey, you don’t have an assistant?” Levi asks as he watches Erwin move about in the room, mixing the filling paste with some other unknown, suspicious-looking chemicals in a small container. Erwin’s not moving too slowly in any way, but with an assistant, Levi thinks things could be done much faster.

 

“Nah, I prefer doing things at my own pace,” comes Erwin’s answer.

 

“Too poor to hire?”

 

“That as well, but mostly because I enjoy my work too much to share.”

 

Levi watches as Erwin stirs the mixture with undivided concentration, presumably checking the texture. Erwin has the mask pulled down now, and something in the way Erwin’s face lights up when he finds things to his liking sends invisible punches to Levi’s gut. The final blow comes when Erwin turns to him and smiles in satisfaction, happy crinkles in the corner of his bright eyes and all.

 

“You’re a weirdo,” Levi mutters, mostly to distract himself from the addictive sight that is Erwin’s handsome smiling face.

 

“I get that a lot,” Erwin replies, noticing the blush that spreads across Levi’s face when he draws near but paying it no heed, thinking that it must be the fear. He first applies some cool, numbing gel on Levi’s tooth and hurting gum. It felt strangely nice, and Levi relaxes a tiny bit. But when Erwin holds up a syringe, Levi shrinks away instantly.

 

“What the hell is that for?!”

  
“This? For local anaesthetic, of course,” Erwin says. “Oh, would you rather me do it without anaesthetics? I’ve had some patients who enjoys-- I mean, likes the pain…”

 

Levi ignores the innuendo and relents. Sure, the needle appears long enough to poke through the base of his gum and stick out of his jaw, but that sounds better than letting Erwin drill his teeth _without_ any local sedative. Unexpectedly, the injection is rather painless. Either the numbing gel earlier is working, or Erwin is just _that_ good at what he does.

 

“I’ve been doing this for eight years,” Erwin says, words a little muffled from behind the mask. “Took over the clinic from my father when he wanted some time off.” Levi doesn’t respond, knowing that Erwin is just trying to make a conversation to distract him from the whole procedure. Taking the dental drill in his hands, Dr. Erwin places a gentle but firm hand on Levi’s right shoulder to still him in case of any struggling that will interfere with the process. Levi’s whole body goes rigid in anticipation, so Erwin rubs soothing small circles on the stiff shoulder with his thumb. Not a professional thing to do, but he can make exceptions.

 

“This might hurt a bit, tell me when you want me to stop, okay?”

 

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Levi scoffs. Erwin presses on the drill, letting the sharp burrs sink into Levi’s tooth, slowly chipping away the rotten bits. The whirling sounds are deafening and Levi doesn’t really appreciate having the handle right in his face. Just as Levi closes his eyes, something sharp pricks his sensitive nerve ends, making him shout. “Ouch! Ah you heing hough on furfose?!”

 

“Nothing you can’t handle, right?” Erwin teases, but his hand movements become much slower and gentler, almost apologetic. The pain dulls out as anaesthetics kick in, and not before long, Levi ultimately can’t speak because his jaw is numb and Erwin has started to clean his mouth with a jet of cold water. Though the excess fluid is drained through a tube, some still accumulate and threatening to flow down his throat. Levi can taste the tangy metallic blood on the sides of his tongue and the smell of iron wafting up his nasal tract before it is completely replaced with the strong scent of chemical, presumably the one Erwin has been mixing earlier. After a long while of more drilling and filling, Dr. Erwin finally speaks up. “You can spit into the sink and gurgle a bit, it helps.”

 

That’s when it dawns on Levi that everything’s done. He places a hand over his chest, feeling the wild, irregular thumping of his heart that may or may not be caused by having a near-death experience and a sinfully dashing face so close to his just a few moments ago. But still, his heart is beating. He’s alive. The dentist didn’t kill him. For now, that is.

 

_That’s it? This is what I’ve been so fucking terrified of?_

 

“Is something wrong, Levi?”

 

“No,” he replies, eyebrows scrunching in what seems to be confusion mixed with frustration. “There’s nothing wrong, and that’s the problem. I was sure I wasn’t going to walk out of this dental clinic in one piece.”

 

Erwin laughs heartily, fishing his hands out of the rubber gloves and ruffling Levi’s hair softly. His hand is big and warm, the weight of it settling on Levi’s head bringing a strange kind of comfort. Levi has never felt this before -this solace from silence and soft touches. For a moment, Levi thinks he wouldn’t mind having all of his teeth pulled out if it means getting Erwin’s hands to linger on his face just a second longer.

 

When Erwin moves away to collect and clean the used apparatus, Levi masks his disappointment by fiddling with a loose thread on the seams of the dreaded synthetic-leather dental chair.

 

“Say, Levi,” Erwin’s words startle Levi, but he’s partly thankful because who knows where his train of thought will lead to had he not been stopped. Erwin leaves the words hanging, and while the warmth dissipating from Erwin’s hand still lingers, Levi’s heart thumps rapidly against his ribcage. He holds his breath as he waits for Erwin to continue. ”How much sweets do you take everyday?”

 

Well, that’s unexpected. _But really, what was I even expecting?_

 

“I don’t take _sweets,_ those damn things are for kids,” Levi answers, pausing to choose his words. “I eat _confections._ It’s within acceptable range.”

 

Erwin pauses in his cleaning up, turning to look at his patient with an amused expression.

 

“And who, pray tell, is the one who determines what’s acceptable and what’s not?”

 

“Tch, I eat what I fucking want, okay?”

 

“We can’t have that unless you want to visit me more often in the future,” Erwin says. There is a mischievous glint in his mesmerizing blue eyes, like that’s exactly what he fucking wants; for this meeting to not be the last. Levi can’t exactly disagree with that. “Someday, I might drop by to taste the goods you bake. Hange mentioned they’re heavenly.” Before Levi can ask what other slanders and gossips has Hange spilled -because he’s convinced it can’t only be about his baking skills- Erwin speaks up again. “Hmm, there’s a term for it, let me think… Ah, foodgasmic!”

 

“Damn it Erwin, the last thing I’d ever want is for you to have an orgasm while eating my cakes,” Levi remarks, surprised at the way the dentist’s name roll off his tongue so naturally after only an hour.

 

“How about while eating you?” Erwin suddenly says, looking smug with seductive smirk in place like he’s just nailed it perfectly, like Levi’s going to swoon and fall into his open arms any time soon. Unfortunately, his humour is greeted with an eerie silence and a mere twitch of Levi’s brow. “I’m sorry, that was pretty lame even for me.”

 

“That was awful,” Levi comments, staring at Erwin who’s now busy writing while avoiding his eyes and noticing the faint tinge of pink that adorns the dentist’s cheeks. “Wait, you honestly thought that line’s gonna get you laid?”

 

Erwin looks up from the incomprehensible notes he’s been scribbling non-stop to escape the embarrassment of a failed attempt at being smooth, letting out a bashful grin. “It won’t?”

 

“It won’t.”

 

“Oh,” Erwin’s blushing face falls for a split second before regaining its usual charm. “I’ll just have to keep trying, then.”

 

Levi doesn’t remember ever meeting anyone who fails so terribly at pick-up lines yet is still so goddamn attractive. This should be illegal, Levi thinks. The whole freaking dental clinic should be banned, because this man called Erwin Smith is one hell of a heartthrob. Levi doesn’t notice the quietness of the room, and when he looked up, Erwin is in front of him, leaning over—wait what the—

 

Erwin’s lips land on his left cheek, close but not quite at the place where the swelling used to be. Since forever, Levi has always thought that the sappy retarded chick flicks Petra had tricked him into watching were all bullshit, but now he feels like he’s living one. Erwin pulls away almost immediately, but the sensation doesn’t dissipate. All of a sudden, Levi feels his cheeks burning, like beef patties marinated in extra-hot tabasco sauce sizzling on a grill under the hot sun. Okay, not really, but close enough.

 

Erwin is now looking at him with an emotion he’d have mistaken as affection. It’s _not_ affection, it shouldn’t be, because they’ve barely met for an hour and it’s not like they’re gonna see each other again, anyway.

 

“See you in six months, Levi. Or when your filling falls out, whichever comes first.”

\-----------

Barely a week later, Dr. Erwin Smith shows up in Stohess Sunshine bakery with a million-watts smile worthy of a dentist, peering through the clear glass displays at the wide array of colourful delicacies. He spots Levi going out from the kitchen and starts waving enthusiastically like he’s just seen a long lost friend, which to Levi is downright ridiculous because they’re not even _acquaintances_. Levi ignores him, or at least _tries_ to, but when Erwin begins to knock on the glass door and call out ‘Levi! Hey Levi, over here!’ multiple times, the embarrassment induced by awkward stares from passersby are too much to handle.

 

So much for ‘six months later’.

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Levi hisses at Erwin after the man enters the shop, the jingling of bells greeting him, causing a few browsing patrons to turn.

 

“Is that the way to treat a customer?”

 

“Customer? You’re not even here for the food.”

 

“Are you implying that I am here to see you? If so, you sure think quite highly of yourself, Levi,” Erwin sports a cheeky smile, and Levi feels a pang in his chest that’s very much a feeling still foreign to him. “But yes, you’re right. Is that so wrong?”

 

Levi crosses his arms, giving a pointed look. “What is?”

 

“Wanting to see you.”

 

Well, it seems that Dr. Erwin can be suave if he tries. Levi remains speechless. He can now smell the cologne on Erwin -there’re hints of lavender, rose and a bit of fresh clover thrown in- and heck, the guy does smell good even when he just got off work. It’s not like Levi has a thing for prim and proper men, not that he knows his own taste because he simply finds it hard to like anybody, but Erwin looks and smells fresh. And he’s clean. Fresh and clean are Levi’s motto; he _breathes_ cleanliness. And right now, he’s more than happy to breathe Erwin in, whatever that might imply.

 

Levi’s mind wanders. They go places, places Levi has never thought he’d ever step into. He replays the little kiss Erwin gave, relives the butterflies that fluttered when Erwin smiled, recalls the soothing warmth of Erwin’s hands on his head…

 

“Levi! Are these blueberry muffins done yet?” Hange’s excited voice echoes from the kitchen, jolting Levi awake from his daydreams which have somehow horrendously morphed to involve a naked dentist coated in sweet, _sweet_ whipped cream and strawberries.

 

“Hange, leave the damn muffins alone!” Levi yells back. He reverts to staring at Erwin, getting more and more entranced by the equally unwavering sky blue depths. Hange might appear any time now, and she’ll start behaving like a teenage girl on crack when meeting her best friend –it’s highly likely to happen if Erwin doesn’t get the hell out of here as soon as possible. Some of the present customers are throwing curious glances at the mysterious, dashing man, a few even making googly eyes at him. Levi can’t blame them, he can clearly understand why. Hastily, Levi pushes Erwin towards the door, shoving a brown paper bag in his hands. “Wait for me at the park down the street. And take these fucking cheese tarts with you.”

 

“Oh,” Erwin’s eyes gleam with surprise and delight. “Is this a date?”

 

“ **No** _._ ” _Not yet, at least… Wait, what am I thinking?_

 

“So…” Erwin starts, shiver-inducing voice dropping impossibly low. “Am I getting laid tonight?” He asks, wiggling his atrocious blonde eyebrows. Levi fights the urge to knock the man cold, merely rolling his eyes. This guy never fails to amuse and annoy him at the same time.

 

“Keep trying.”

 

With that, he closes the door on Erwin’s stupid grinning face and stalks off to save the endangered muffins, wondering what on earth he is signing up for.

**Author's Note:**

> Needed some dorky Eruri to overcome this pain ACWNR spoilers have given me. Oh and I just made a [tumblr](http://makuroshi.tumblr.com/) account, it's empty for now but I'll start posting stuff soon ❤ Kudos/comments are appreciated!


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